Date Night Preparations: Then and Now

Earlier this week, R and I celebrated our ninth dating anniversary.  (As it also happens to fall on his birthday, some of the celebration may have been directed elsewhere.)  In the few moments I have before we head out on a well-earned date night tonight, it seems to be a good time to reflect on how my dating life has changed over the past nine years:

THEN:  Sleep late in the morning -- 10am or so -- wake up refreshed and thinking about how to get ready for the day ahead.

NOW:  Sleep late in the morning -- 7:02am or so -- wake up exhausted and thinking about how much needs to be done before the sitter our friend arrives.

THEN: Enjoy a leisurely morning of pampering -- perhaps a haircut, manicure, massage.

NOW: Enjoy an activity-filled morning of making breakfast, doing housework, and trying to catch up on lost time with A and C.  Haven't had a haircut, manicure or massage since my thirties.  And I turned 40 nearly three months ago.)

THEN: Chat with girlfriends about the upcoming evening, the gentleman caller and the prospects.

NOW: Chat with the preschoolers about the upcoming evening, and how mommy and daddy need to go out once in a while.  Listen to "I don't want you to go on a date" about 200 times and remember to try to appreciate that they want to spend time with you.

THEN: One hour to go -- cute outfit on, hair and makeup done.  Waiting for nails to dry.

NOW: One hour to go -- clean outfit on.  Makeup done.  Waiting for hair to dry.  Quickie manicure not even a possibility.

THEN: Nine years ago, your best friend and the man you want to make a family with arrives at your door.

NOW: That man is the one by your side.

Here's wishing each of you a wonderful weekend too!

Is This Thing Still On? :: tap tap::

Wow.

Apparently it's been about 6 weeks from my last post.  Seems that "Wordless Wednesday" became "..and half the summer too."

One would think that things have been quiet in the Just After Bedtime house as summer has been winding down to an end.  But, of course, that isn't the case.  I've simply been away, too tired to think or blog at the end of a long day, but so many things to report on.

Like how we ended up doing on our summer bucket list.

And how I spent 3 days in August trying to make a little bit of a difference for a cause I'm passionate about.

And how I turned 40 and managed to make it through.

And how I blinked and my girls have become preschoolers -- sometimes seeming more like teenagers trapped in preschool bodies -- but preschoolers nonetheless.

And how life keeps moving on, one day at a time, bringing joy, laughter, craziness, worries, silliness, seriousness and all the rest.

Thanks to those who are still sticking with me.  I'll start checking in more often and appreciate each of you who do the same.  Hope this back-to-school week finds you all happy, healthy and loved.

Robin

Parenting While Plugged In (or Anything Else)

I love it when the mom-guilt stars align.

Last week, the New York Times published a story you may have already seen, "The Risks of Parenting While Plugged In."  At this point it's hard for me to remember if I glanced at it during one of the nights I was at the office until midnight, 1am, 3am...or at home but up working until 5am.  But it was one of those weeks that from time to time raises its ugly head but is unavoidable in my line of work - the work needs to get done, the clients' deadlines need to get met and everyone's burning the midnight oil.  At any rate, I sent myself the link, figuring it might be an interesting topic to blog about.  (On a side note, if you follow me on Twitter, I offer you my thanks for putting up with my late night pity parties and not dropping me like a hot potato.)

So here I am, nearly a week later, finally reading it, finally thinking about it, finally blogging about it.  Yes, I have a laptop and a smartphone.  And yes, it is too easy to just do a quick e-mail check, which leads to a Twitter check and a Facebook check...you know the drill.  And yes, some of these checks are in the presence of my girls.  I hate that somedays it's a conscious effort for me to be unplugged for a given span of time, that it isn't my first instinct to leave. the. phone. alone.

If you haven't read the article, I can give you the Cliff's Notes according to me.  (1) If you don't unplug, you are not mentally present and maybe your kid will bite you.  (2) More research is needed, but we're all pretty sure you're screwing up your kids if you bring work outside of the office.  (3) Parents, you get an "E" for effort trying to avoid being in the office from dawn 'til dusk and seeing your kids for more than a few minutes, but too bad.

Okay, I exaggerate.

But when so many of us are trying to do right by our spouses, our children and ourselves, it's more than a bit wearing to hear from the "experts" that we're missing the mark.  Frankly, I'll file this article with the other research that tells me:

• If you stay at work too long and aren't home long enough, you're harming your children.
• If you don't stay at home with your children all day, you're harming your children.
• If you stay at home with your children all day, you're harming your children.
• If you're overly involved in your kids' day to day lives, you're harming your children.

And once I've got that filed away, I'll head back to play with my girls, catch up with my husband, and - yes - maybe even check my e-mail once in a while.  And I know that there's always room for improvement, but wouldn't parenting be dull otherwise?  

So...are you plugged-in but present?  Do you declare technology-free times in your home?  Or are you in danger of your kids biting you?

Our Summer Bucket List

Great parenting minds must be thinking alike -- note, that I will not be claiming to be one of them.  On the same day that my bloggy friend Darcie posted her own family's list of fun to-do's for the summer, R started building one for our own.  R's the stay-at-home half of our parenting team, and the girls and I are all the better for it.  As you will see below, he keeps them busy enough to be nice and tired at bedtime active, engaged and just plain having fun.

With full props to R, and without further adieu...the Just After Bedtime summer bucket list, 2010 edition.

Traditional Favorites

• Como Zoo
• Minnesota Zoo
• Children's Museum
• Intensive swim lessons at the Y
• Camp Snoopy (because we are bad at accepting change...)
• Saints baseball
• State Fair

Local Finds

• Watch the remote control airplanes at Lake Elmo Airport
• Kelley Farm in Elk River
• U of M Raptor Center
• Transportation Museum
• Excelsior streetcar ride
• Watch the airplanes at MSP
• Coffee shop and bookstore visits
• St. Paul and Woodbury farmer's markets
• Washington County Fair
• Back to the 50s car show
• Regular visits to the local library - for books and - with a little luck - Museum Adventure Passes!
• Bandana Square model railroad store/museum
• Local water parks
• Sunday night concerts in the park
• Light rail trip to DT Minneapolis
• Bus ride with Mom to work
• Heart of the Beast puppet theatre

Friends and Family / Out of Town

• Visit our friend Laura's horses
• Burley and bike rides to a picnic lunch
• Hopscotch on the patio
• Plant a vegetable garden
• Visit Grandma in St. Louis, visit the St. Louis Zoo (I may be biased, but STL's zoo blows our local ones out. of. the. water. 
• Wisconsin Dells
• Sleepover with neighbor friends
• Backyard campout
• Cooking practice/assistance

Just for the Parents

• A Father's Day surprise (sorry, no link, R reads the blog!)
• Date nights, date nights, date nights
• And, if the stars align, maybe an overnight without the little ones to celebrate our fifth anniversary?

Yes, it will be a busy summer around here but it's great to have a list in place to help us avoid the "What should we do's" that inevitably come up on the occasional unbusy weekend.  It's been great to read everyone else's lists too! 

Hoping you all enjoy the long weekend, the glorious weather, and whatever fun you can find!

Why Mom Needs a Night Out

So, like a lot of moms, I don't take a lot of opportunities to have a girls' night out. (And no, going to Noodles & Co. with my 2 & 3 year old daughters for dinner is not the kind of "girls' night" I'm referring to.)

So yesterday, I was happily getting ready for an evening out.  I'd already teed up my plans with A & C, letting them know that I'd be leaving after suppertime but home when they woke up in the morning.  There were the usual, half-protests (although I know that they equally enjoy R handling bedtime as well).  While R worked on supper, I was enjoying the quiet and solitude of a nice, hot shower.  Bathroom door closed, room warm and steamy, mental state relaxed.

Enter C, in her 2 1/2 year-old exuberance.

"Mommy!?!"

::sigh:: "Yes?"

"I want to sit in your LAP!!"

::sigh:: "Okay.  Can we take care of that in a few minutes?"

"Okay!"

Exit C.  Bathroom door open, steam and warmth departed, mental state re-mommified.

I love you, my energetic, loving, busy, amazing girls.  And after a fun night of laughter and fun with some great gals last night, I'm "reset" and ready to see how you make me laugh this week ahead.

Loves and God Blesses

So to get this blog thing started, it seems a post about bedtime would be in order.

With my husband on kid-duty from dawn to dusk, I generally get to be the boss o' bedtime around these parts.  As any of you who have parented for any amount of time are well aware, some nights go well, some not so much, but it's time with my daughters that I'll take any day.

Today was a particularly trying day.  Coming off an emotionally-wearing, up-too-late night the night before, trying to get the house in order before my folks arrive tomorrow for the holiday weekend, wrapping up things at work to spend time with said folks, and trying to keep a non-profit organization in crisis afloat - by the day's end it was starting to take its toll.  By the time bedtime rolled around, I had to stall an extra 40 minutes while the younger one's lovies finished a spin in the dryer after a naptime Pull-Ups fail.  This slight change in routine resulted in everyone, including me, being worn slick by the time we made it upstairs.

Got C, my 2 year old girl, tucked in, and headed to do the same for A, my not-quite 4 year old girl.  C pops in and needs to be escorted back to her room, where she proceeds to melt down entirely, while A calls me in a sing-song voice from her room.

By the time I drag myself back to A's room, it's a good hour after normal bedtime.  We get to the "Loves and God Blesses" part of our nightime routine, where we list everyone who loves A and everyone who needs God's blessings.  With A, this can be a mixed bag -- she either comes up with a winner ("God bless friends who go on a long walk with Mommy") or a dud ("God bless SpongeBob"). 

Tonight was a good one.

"God bless God.  He made a pretty nice world for us to live in."

Yep, that's a winner.  If my 3 year-old has this figured out, seems that it would do me some good to remind myself from time to time.

Here's hoping you are enjoying our pretty nice world these days too.

Robin

Taking a deep breath and jumping in.

So, I'm dipping my toes into the blogging waters.  I've been fortunate enough to connect with a community of wonderful, talented bloggers locally who have encouraged me repeatedly to dive in.  At the same time, because these other bloggers are so wonderful and talented, I'm more than a bit intimated to join the ranks.  But here goes.


Why "Just After Bedtime"?  I'm the mom of two beautiful and busy girls and my days are filled with time at the office and time with them.  It seems that only "just after bedtime" -- that moment after both girls are tucked into bed -- is when I can collect my thoughts about the day and not be something to someone else.  Some days these moments last longer than others, before I jump back into work, planning for the next day or downtime with my spouse.  I hope to use this blog as a place to help capture these moments and put a few thoughts down from time to time.


Things I may cover here from time to time?  Being the work-outside-of-the-house-wife to a stay-at-home-dad.  Putting an end to breast cancer, 3 days at a time.  How fast time goes when you're spending it with two active children.  Turning 40.  Pop culture.  Learning as I go while I blog.  And very likely, trying to find my blogging voice and the time in which to use it.


For those who are out there, thanks for joining me on the ride -


Robin